


Your hole is my goal

by nomifucker69



Series: booty calls [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, but also maybe not, fb is possible, is facebook even modern any more, probably a modern AU, talkin on fb, there could be anything in the snk canon, whatever levis an old man and erens lame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 16:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3817642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomifucker69/pseuds/nomifucker69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has a way with words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your hole is my goal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaeqers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeqers/gifts), [take it you fucking piece of shit](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=take+it+you+fucking+piece+of+shit).



> totally serious work created by me, egg eeg.

"ur hole is my goal" Levi typed, and then sat back, smiling at his work in a way that made small children cry. He'd finally achieved it. This was it, his magnum opus. He'd concocted the perfect message to seduce Eren. He steepled his fingers, and told Erwin's voice in his head telling him he looked like a supervillain to fuck off. All he had to do now was wait for Eren to fly at him, ass-first.

His computer's clock moved slowly in the corner of his eye. 23:12. 23:13. 23:14.

He checked and double checked, and there was still a green circle next to Eren's name. How could he be ignoring him? What could he have done wrong? The message was perfect. It couldn't be anything but perfect. He scanned frantically for any flaw in his plan.

Oh.

He'd forgotten to press send.

There we go.

_Eren is typing..._

Levi's heart leapt in his chest. 

"wtf"

And sank again.

"do you mean that as in my hole is ur life goal"

"like"

"u wanna be my asshole"

Levi wished, not for the first time, that you could choose who you loved.

"No I want to stick my dick in your hole"

a beat of nothingness

_✓ seen 11:16 pm_

"U hoe"

_Eren is typing..._

"what a gentleman."

Little fucking shit!

There was only one way to go about things with Eren- you had to be straightforward. Or gayforward. Forward was the main point.

"This is a booty call. Be at my house in ten minutes with lube."

He thought for a moment.

"And a mouthguard."

_Eren is typing..._

_Eren is typing..._

_Eren is typing..._

_✓ seen 11:18 pm_

_Eren is typing..._

_Eren is typing..._

"you writing an essay there"

_Eren is typing..._

_Eren is typing..._

"kk"

The green circle next to his name disappeared.

"did you really just say 'kk'"

"in the year of our lord"

"2k15"

"im logged the fuck out"

The green dot next to Levi's name disappeared.

A second later, Eren was back online.

"I DONT HAVE A MOUTHGUARD"

"ALSO WHERE DO YOU LIVE"

"DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HOUSE"

**Author's Note:**

> every fic i will ever post on this account is a 3 am ereri joke fic bc im a pissapointment  
> based off a conversation i had with nomi and also various other things that happened in my sad homo life  
> the mouthguard is for levis D I C K O F S T E E L  
> please use condoms irl im not ready to be a grandma


End file.
